Folks, it’s week 9. Everyone’s exhausted and mired in a post-Blackpool slump, even me. It’s Thursday already, hence the bullet-point-tastic recap.
- Kara and Artem’s jive is pretty good, but lacks punch. Kara admitted in the VT that she wasn’t looking forward to the jive, and with Artem’s Blackpool injury and subsequent bout of tonsillitis they weren’t able to train that much. It shows – Kara’s loooking at her feet a fair bit, and I get the impression that she’s preoccupied with worrying about Artem injuring himself again. I think they’re slightly overmarked (not by Craig, obv, who gives a 7).
- Widdy thinks her samba was hilarious, high comedy. Er, no, it really wasn’t. This week, the rumba, which I watch through my fingers. They’ve gone for a Titanic theme, complete with plastic iceberg, although disappointingly no-one shouts “Oiceberg, sir, roight ahead!”.
Apart from some open-outs there doesn’t appear to be any actual rumba content, which I suppose we should be thankful for. Widdy indulges in her usual snarky answering back at Craig, and Len and Alesha continue their RIDICULOUS approach to scoring by awarding fives, FFS (for a total of 14). Oh, I am very weary of all this.
- Patsy and Robin might as well be Argentine tango-ing to the sound of clanging, doomy bells, I’m that certain it’s their last week. Patsy’s hurt her foot, so much of the routine is based on and around a chair. The connection between her and Robin is great, and she holds the intensity all the way through but it’s not nearly sharp or sexy enough. Bruno grabs an alarmed Alesha while demonstrating the fleshy, carnal, passionate feel he was looking for, and Len tells Patsy she needs to have a go, and not be careful. They get 30, for all the good it will do.
- Scott knew the samba wasn’t going to be one of his best dances. Unfortunately the VT for their American smooth doesn’t fill me with anticipation either – he’s so knackered that at one point he falls asleep standing up. It looks like he’s sleepwalking throughout the whole routine – there are glaring mistakes and on the whole it’s very tentative and flat. Lord alone knows how he managed to pull off the lifts without there being a terrible accident – Natalie must have been terrified! Scott tells Tess his mind went blank right at the start. Still, at least he didn’t just wander back to the steps and have a sit down, eh? More RIDICULOUS scores from Alesha and Bruno, who give it nine each. SERIOUSLY?
- There’s a VT of the remaining contestants all dressed up cowboy-style as the ‘Magnificant Seven’. I shall say no more about this.
- Oh deary me, Gavin and Katya’s jive. It’s really, really ODD. In training Katya tries to get Gavin to release his emotions, which just results in him telling her how much he hates the jive. I quite like Gavin with stubble and glasses, makes him look like a scruffy grown-up Harry Potter, but the outfit! Oh my word, I worry the whole way through about trouser splittage. I don’t know what Katya was on when she came up with the choreography, it’s all over the shop. Len: “You hated it, I hated it, we all hated it”. EZACKLY (although, Len, if you hated it why the six, hmm? Hmm?).
- I find Matt and Aliona’s VTs a bit strange – he’s always going on about what a good connection they have and how well they get on, but then the clips of them in training often seem to be a bit, shall we say, frosty? Their American smooth is performed to Empire State of Mind, and Aliona’s gone for ‘modern’ choreography. Which basically means that instead of the ‘traditional’ Hollywood-style routine we get a hell of a lot of EMOTING. Matt’s wearing a red chiffon blouson, poor thing. Technically it is very good, with a fabby lift at the end but I’m not wowed (unlike the audience, who give a standing ovation). The judges are a tad lukewarm too, pointing out that Matt’s facial expressions were a bit ‘psycho killer’. I have a theory, d’you want to hear it? I think that if Matt were partnered with Natalie he would have this competition sewn up by now, because I think she would create routines to suit him – I can understand why Aliona might want to do something different but I think she did it at the expense of Matt. His personality is much more suited to something lighter, less….anguished.
- Pamela and James close the show with their Charleston. The prop door is back! I’m just waiting for it to be painted green….Full of cheeky energy and fun lifts (including one where Pamela lifts James) it’s a really spirited performance. It’s not perfect though – there are a few clumsy moments – so I think the tens from Alesha and Bruno are a leetle excessive. Still, Alesha’s right, it is the best dance of the night.
- In the Sunday Results show we’re ‘treated’ to a VT about next week’s movie theme. My eyes are still burning from the HORROR of the sight of Widdy dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Way to ruin my favourite film, Strictly producers. THANKS. Kara thinks she was overmarked, Scott is upset he went blank, and the judges mock Gavin’s jive. James and Ola perform a steamy rumba – Ola’s wearing one of her sparkly catsuits, so Mikes eyes are ON STALKS. Heh. In a surprise to NO ONE, Patsy and Robin are in the bottom two with Gavin and Katya. God does not hear my fervent prayers to save Patsy, so it’s time to say goodbye to her. *sniff* She’s very gracious, saying that she’s happy she got to Blackpool and to perform the Argentine tango. I shall miss her.
- So, the end is in sight now. I reckon Movie Week will be Gavin’s last, unless Katya resorts to desperate tactics and has him dance topless again. Or maybe, just maybe, the public will FINALLY get bored of the Widdy…….