Dancing With the Stars Week 4: Watch, Friday, 9pm

This week there’ll be two scores for each dance! And they’re dancing in the round! And it’s acoustic! Apart from that, everything’s just the same as usual.

Jennifer Grey’s starting to get on my wick a bit now. She’s a bit of a show-off. Everyone else walked in, but she danced in. And, for the third week running, she was dancing out of time with the intro music.

Kurt Warner was out first with a rumba. I liked it. It was sexy without being embarrassing. Len said the romantic aspect of it was “pitched just right”. The scores were 15 for technique and 19 for performance, which Kurt was disappointed with. The judges had an issue with Kurt’s hands, so they showed a slow-mo of what they meant, which was actually pretty useful. The judges make all these comments but it’s not always entirely clear to the viewer what they’re talking about. Kurt’s hands? Like pans.

It’s abundantly clear that Brandy and Maks don’t really get on. “You have to act like you like me!” Brandy said when Maks took her out for a half-hearted romantic drink to get them in the mood. I was thinking they should channel the animosity into a really sexy ‘I can’t stand you but I fancy you’ type rumba and they totally did. It gave me the shivers. Brandy’s costume was gorgeous – like a sparkly swimsuit under a sheet, but, you know, much nicer than I’ve just made it sound. “It was a little bit hot and spicy for my taste,” said Len, inevitably.

Rick Fox and Cheryl’s Argentine Tango was okay, but nothing special. He didn’t actually dance very much – Cheryl mainly danced around him. The judges thought it was a bit “one-dimensional” and lacking in energy.

As always, Kyle Massey was highly entertaining. His rumba was really fun and very watchable, but, as Len commented, a bit too staccato. Carrie Ann said, “I liked the way you toned the performance. Your dynamic isn’t really sexual,” which was just what I’d been thinking. He and Lacey seem to have a good, fun relationship, which transmits well in their dancing.

The Situation didn’t really dance. He stood there like a tree while Karina danced around him. He did a few impressive (and dangerous) lifts, but that was all. “Michael,” said Bruno. “You know that was a terrible mess… really, really, really, really, really terrible.” “It was consistent,” Len said. “It was bad throughout.” Heh. They scored 12 for technique and 14 for performance. It was terrible, do you see?

In the VT before Florence Henderson’s performance, she had her daughter and Corky’s son Mark there to judge whether some of their rumba moves were inappropriate. It was actually a funny VT, but I was afeared. Corky seems incapable of choreographing anything appropriately, so I was terrified to think what he might do with a rumba. And it was just awful. It made me squirm and not in a good way. The judges’ comments were mixed. Carrie Ann said it went a bit too far and made her a little uncomfortable. Len said it was a big improvement. I’m just hoping I can get the image of Mrs Brady licking her finger and running it down her frontage erased from my mind.

You probably won’t be shocked to hear that Jennifer Grey’s Argentine Tango was completely brilliant. Jaw-droppingly so. The audience went berserk and the judges also raved. She scored 27 for technique and 29 for performance (obviously she got two 10s which, as always, made me well up).

I was looking for a pic of Mark, shirtless, but instead I found this one of his tattoo. Classy, ain't it?

Bristol Palin had trouble getting sexy for her rumba, but it was a pretty sexy routine – she pulled Mark’s top off and I wibbled a bit. I’ve never really seen the appeal of Mark before, but I do now. As ever though, Bristol looked like she wasn’t quite there. “You do something and then you go vacant,” Bruno said and he’s spot on. “I feel like you’re just dancing for Mark,” Carrie Ann said. Backstage, Brooke asked, “I’m not sure what was more of a distraction, doing a sexy dance like that with your mom in the audience or Mark taking his shirt off. What do you think?” “I don’t know,” said Bristol, vacantly. “I was just focussed on the performance and doing well.” I would just love to see some personality from her before she’s knocked out. Although the VT of her with her young son was pretty cute.

Audrina Patridge’s Argentine Tango was technically good, but it bored me. The judges seem to find it a bit cold and detached and I did too. She’s a great dancer, but… meh.

At the end of the show, Jennifer and Derek were top with 56 and The Situation and Karina bottom with 28. I was hoping The Situation would go home, but I didn’t expect him to. So imagine my surprise when he did. Can Florence go home next please?



One thought on “Dancing With the Stars Week 4: Watch, Friday, 9pm

  1. You made me look Bristol, Brandy & Jennifer’s dances up on YouTube! Crikey, that Bristol Palin really is personality black hole. But I did think her dance was kinda sexy. Have already forgotten Brandy’s but Jennifer Grey’s was gorgeous.

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